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Live dangerously posc. Follow your own advice. Don’t call him. Insist on him answering open-ended questions. Have him scan pics of himself. Just in case y82benji is right, don’t tell him your real name or give any of your real contact info. Keep us posted and may the force be with you! 
I would only recommend an online degree if you can’t go to class and you are staying at your current company. My company gets resumes from online alumni seeking clerical jobs and we definitely have a disparaging view about the online schools.
That’s 2 possibilities. Or he thought someone would through some magical means type a 100 page dissertation with exactly everything he wanted to know.
How could no one mention Uno[?]
I think you meant US or UK school. You didn’t give us much of a choice! 
I’m also American and I’ll take Harvard too.
I don’t understand your question!
Just about every PhD gets a stipend for doing teaching work. Worry about being accepted, not financial aid.
If Yasser Arafat really thought animals owned weapons, he would’ve been smuggling them in through those tunnels to Egypt a long time ago.
Definitely torture. We bend over backwards and they do nothing to accommodate us. 
Sounds like most schools from what I have heard. Too many customers and not enough competition does this I guess in the market plade. Hopefully this will change one day but I don’t want to get all sappy here.